Bullies took it to a whole other level with me when they bullied me for having a somewhat large booty.
When I was twenty two (22) years old I went to a trade school to learn hair artistry. My class had about 10 to 18 students from different age groups and ethnicitys (predominantly African decent and mixed). Now I had a heads up in class as my mom taught me to braid hair when I was only five (5) years old. Cool thing is that braiding was the second lesson and I blazed through it quickly as i did with the other topics. Maybe I had a natural talent for doing hair. “just saying”
Now to the TEA. This female classmate who I will call Anna and her group of minions were always talking crap about everyone and everything. “If a pin dropped in class they would have had, the make, size and phone number of it.” I had no problem with them as they normally gossiped about many topics which never involved me. As class progressed I continued sprinting through the tasks, which was probably what made “Anna” turn on me. Her insults and bullying never seemed to end, sometimes I felt like ditching class because I could not take the drama.
Now I was always considered different by my friends because of my silly and somewhat spontaneous personality, so if I was picked on, it was usually because they did not get me. But this girl did not insult be because I was goofy, oh no she insulted me because of my booty size. And not because I had a flat or small booty, but because it was considered big to her. “who the heck does that, seriously?”
She continuously told me about the way my skirts and pants fit me and described it as if my pants and certain skirts were being eaten by my butt. I felt so ashamed because the harassment was constant as she continually told me about it in front of everyone. Her minions would burst out and laugh at me so I just stopped wearing the pants and skirts she dissed me about entirely. Other classmates noticed I stopped wearing the cloths and asked me what was my reason. Ashamed and insecure I told them it was because of her constant heckling. My other classmates were annoyed and started picking my side whenever she was mean to me.
It was only after I gained some confidence I stopped paying attention to the negative things people said about me. I started pushing negative people away because most times people dislike you because they are jealous of you. I only noticed she was jealous after my other class mate constant praised me for being one of the best in the class. They also told me Anna was jealous because she had a flat booty and mine was way bigger than hers.
I was also bullied for being dark skinned while in Primary School in the 80’s. Even though I live in the Caribbean I was subject to racial profiling and still am up to this day. A group of lighter skinned children picked on me a lot when I about seven about (7) years old. They called me poor because I was the second of two dark skinned girl in my class. I believe they did not pick on the other girl because her hair was relaxed/straightened. I hated my dark skin as a child because children at school was so mean to me. “I mean how the heck can you call me poor if I was driven to school and given cash and snacks everyday, Seriously?” The kids who were mean to me would often travel to school and were not given money for snacks and would beg me for my money and snack. That is how I knew it was because of my complexion, oh not forgetting the dumb phrase “black and ugly” which was used against me a couple times.
The weird thing is that the Indian kids were never racist towards me, it was African decent kids who just happened to be light skin. Oh but you think it ended there, my first son’s father was brown skin and my son was born lighter than me. When he was born I heard a friend say to another that “ugly people make nice children” and this was not because of his looks alone but because of his complexion. My younger son is dark skin and often subject to this type of abuse in school but I will relay that story another time.
In closing I realized that most of the individuals who were mean to me had their own demons to deal with and I was merely a scapegoat for them to vent their frustrations about their own insecurities. In the case of my childhood days, they were just bullies and I got over it soon as I got into secondary school “High School” .
This story is to make you become aware of the lengths people will go too in order to steal your joy and make you depressed and insecure. In the words of Christina Aguilera “We are beautiful no matter what they say, wouldn’t bring us down.
I will be posting on ways to overcome depression in another blog along wit the struggles of being dark skin in my country.
Please share if you have been bullied and leave a comment on how you overcame your bullies.